


What's Cookin' Good Lookin'?

by mybrainproblems



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: "I think my hot neighbor is a drug dealer" AU, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Fluff, M/M, Minor Armin Arlert/Jean Kirstein, Minor Moblit Berner/Hange Zoë
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2015-04-11
Packaged: 2018-03-22 07:01:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3719557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mybrainproblems/pseuds/mybrainproblems
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three weeks ago the cops turned up to arrest their neighbors in a big round up of a major heroin ring. Now there are some new tenants moving in and those two seem nice enough but the <strike>really hot</strike> guy with the tattoos is a little scary and oh shit, he might be a drug dealer.</p><p>aka "I think my hot neighbor is cooking meth with his weird friends"</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's Cookin' Good Lookin'?

**Author's Note:**

> Last month the police busted a major heroin ring that was running out of a house about a block and a half from where I live.

Three weeks ago, they had been rudely woken up at 4am on a Thursday by the police kicking in the neighbors’ door - or at least he had been woken up; Jean was visiting his mom and Armin and Mikasa were capable of sleeping through almost anything. And so Eren had ended up being the only one who heard the police banging on their neighbors' door. He had sort of been expecting it given how many times they and their other neighbors had called in noise complaints but he was a little surprised when he heard the bang of the door being forcibly slammed open. 

What he absolutely did not expect was the panicked shouting and the gunshot. 

Somehow, unbeknownst to them, their neighbors had been a part of a major heroin ring. 

The days following had been a whirlwind of police questioning and the noise of evidence collection on the other side of the shared wall of their duplex. Even after the police were gone Eren still had trouble sleeping, worried that someone who knew their neighbors would come back and decide to torch the place to destroy any remaining evidence. His performance at work was beginning to suffer as one sleepless night followed another resulting in impromptu naps at work. It was only after three weeks had passed that he was finally able to get a few hours of fitful sleep each night. 

And it was after those three weeks that they found a notice in their mailbox from their landlord letting them know that they would be getting new neighbors. The notice sat on the coffee table in their living room while the four of them sat around; Mikasa frowning and sitting on one end of the couch while Armin sat on Jean's lap on the other. Eren was curled up on their oversized armchair, staring at the notice with horror at the prospect of new neighbors when he had only just started to calm down about the old ones. As luck would have it, their new neighbors moved in on a Thursday afternoon and were still unloading their things when Eren came home from work. It looked like there were only two of them compared to their previous neighbors who seemed to consistently have at minimum six people living there at any given time. 

Eren tried to observe his neighbors discreetly, trying to figure out what they would be like. One of them was an energetic and tall brunet with glasses and a ponytail while the other was somewhat nervous-looking with mousey brown hair. Watching them, he relaxed; the person with the glasses was a bit over-enthusiastic about things but the other seemed to be able to keep them under control. He smiled to himself, thinking that these neighbors wouldn't be that bad. 

But no, the universe had other things in mind. 

Just as the sun was setting a particularly shiny and new-looking Mercedes S-class pulled up to the curb. Through the open window he could hear muffled raised voices having an argument from inside the car. After a moment, the passenger side door was flung open violently and a figure emerged, mostly obscured as they leaned down behind the car door and still arguing with the driver. 

"-sake, money isn't the issue." Eren strained his ears, trying to hear the driver's response but he was unable to catch anything. 

"No, you know what a pain it is to transport my shit and I don't want to move so far away people can't get here when they need to." 

The door slammed and the car drove off, leaving Eren to stare at the man left standing at the curb and stretching his arms up over his head.  Eren couldn't help but notice the man's silky black hair or tattooed arms or that, in spite of his short build he clearly had a very powerful and muscular body. And yet... given the conversation he had just heard he couldn't help but worry about just what this man's profession was. 

Over the course of the next week he became even more suspicious. At first, Armin, Jean and Mikasa had been quick to try and assuage his concerns but he could tell that even they were beginning to become wary of their neighbors. Jean had bumped into the two people who they had first seen moving in and discovered that their names were Hanji ("they/them pronouns, please!") and Moblit. It turned out that Hanji was even more energetic than they had seemed when moving in and that Moblit was actually less capable of controlling them than the four of them had hoped. 

Eren had been the one unfortunate enough to be the first person to run into the tattooed and dark-haired man. It had been getting close to sunset again as he trudged home from the bus stop. The man was standing on his side of the shared front porch off to the side and standing very close to an unfamiliar young woman, both of their faces serious and their voices hushed. She passed Eren as he got to the steps and he could see the mascara tracks running down her face from crying. Conversely, the man on the porch had an angry look on his face as he watched her go. Trying to avoid the other man, Eren fumbled for his keys, trying to unlock the door and get inside the house as fast as possible. 

"Hey, kid." Eren continued to dig through his bag, desperately searching for his keys. "Hey!" He turned to face the other man, eyes wide and panicked. 

"I'm sorry, what?" His pulse was racing as he met the other man's eyes. 

"Just wanted to say hi. I know Hanji and Moblit introduced themselves but I work odd hours. My name's Levi." Eren hesitantly shook the proffered hand. 

"Eren. And I uh... I really need to get inside and do something so yeah." Before Levi had a chance to say anything else Eren had unlocked the door and closed in behind him again. His heart was racing as he leaned up against the door. 

A couple of days later he watched as Levi carried bags from his own beat-up Honda into the house. When one of the bags split open as he carried it up the steps Eren took it as absolute confirmation that his neighbor was cooking meth; bottles of ammonia and acetone and multiple boxes of nasal decongestant. The number of odd-looking individuals began to increase, most of them looked like they were in high school or college and none of them looked like they belonged in the quiet suburban neighborhood. After a month Eren finally broke down during dinner. 

"We need to call the cops." 

"What?" Armin was looking at him confusedly. 

"Our neighbors. Are you seriously going to tell me you think they're not drug dealers?" 

"Stop being paranoid."  Eren fixed Jean with a glare. 

"You've seen the people who are constantly in and out. And what about the blond guy with the Merc who that Levi guy argues with constantly?" 

"Doesn't mean they're drug dealers." The lack of conviction in Jean's tone had Eren continuing. 

"And Mikasa, I know you made a comment about how Hanji always seems to be far too energetic." 

"I didn't want to say anything but..." Armin trailed off, looking uncertainly at all of them. "They get a lot of packages from China that get delivered by private courier." 

"See!" 

"We don't want to do anything rash, Eren." Mikasa looked at him beseechingly. "Just give it another week and we'll keep an eye on it, okay?" 

The four of them lapsed into silence for a few minutes before Armin started to tell them about the most recent piece of software that he had been working on. His enthusiasm was infectious and pretty soon Mikasa and Jean were joining in as well talking about their days while Eren quietly picked at his dinner, trying to keep calm as he thought about what might happen in the upcoming week and resolving to avoid interacting with his neighbors. 

However, "not interacting" with his neighbors didn't mean that he couldn't  _watch_  them and when one of your neighbors was a tattooed and muscular hot slab of man meat it was difficult to  _not_  watch. As much as the Man with the Mercedes made him nervous, whenever he was around it meant that he got a very good view of Levi as they both leaned against the car while they alternated between chatting and arguing. He couldn't really figure out what they were talking about given that it was too cold to leave the window open anymore but he could tell that there was a lot of tension between the two of them on some days. 

After a week there hadn't been any real increase in what any of them could call suspicious activity and Armin implored Eren on all of their behalves to drop it and try and move on; they had strange neighbors and that was all. Eren stopped bringing up every little thing he noticed as all of it was met with eyerolls and sighs. He started bumping into Levi more frequently when he was taking out the trash or stretching out before and after his thrice-weekly morning run. He had even begrudgingly accepted a ride to the train station when he missed the bus that he normally took there. It had been awkward with Levi asking a couple of questions about Eren (which he answered as shortly as possible) before they finally fell into an uneasy silence. 

 

It was a freezing cold late morning in February when Eren got locked out of their house. Jean and Armin were visiting Armin's grandpa and Mikasa was out getting brunch with Sasha and of course,  _of course_  Eren had left his phone at home - along with his keys - when he went out for a run. Standing on the porch and shivering as the sweat on body cooled Eren mentally ran through his options of which he concluded there were only two; knock on his hot-and-probably-a-drug-dealer neighbor's door or freeze to death in the cold. It really said something about the temperature when he barely gave the second option a moment of consideration. 

He only had to knock once before the door was pulled open and he found himself looking down slightly at Levi's face. 

"Um, hi?" 

"Hey Eren, can I help you?" His stomach did the tiniest flip when he realized that Levi actually remembered his name in spite of them almost never speaking. 

"I kind of locked myself out of the house and I was wondering if maybe I could maybe borrow your phone?" 

"Sure, come in." Levi opened the door fully and Eren stepped through the doorway, surprised that a drug dealer would let him inside so easily and even more surprised by how spotless the house looked. 

"Wow, clean." 

"You wouldn't believe the mess the previous tenants left it in. Had to use ammonia and acetone to disinfect it and take off the stains." 

"Well it looks good." 

"Thanks." Levi pulled his phone out of his pocket and held it out to Eren. "Here you go." 

"Thank you so, so much." 

It turned out that Mikasa's phone had either died or was off and he couldn't remember Sasha's number off the top of his head. Jean had ended up picking up but given how far away Armin's grandpa lived even if they left right then it would still be an hour and with Mr. Arlert's health slowly deteriorating they had really wanted to stay for dinner. Eren told them it was no trouble and he could just hang out in a café for a bit and hopefully Mikasa would call him back soon. He sighed heavily as he hung up and turned to Levi. 

"Thanks for letting me borrow your phone. I'm going to -" 

"For fuck's sake, just stay here until your damn friends are back." 

"I really don't want to impose." Eren's mind was racing as he tried to figure out a suitable excuse to get him out there but at the same time... 

"You don't have a wallet either so where the heck are you even going to go?" 

"I can um... I... yeah, I have no clue." 

"Exactly." Levi stepped back and put his phone back in his pocket. "Now, I'm going to put the kettle on. If you want to shower we have plenty of extra clothes you can borrow." 

"That's not necessary." 

"You smell. Please shower." Eren flushed at Levi's blunt comment before ducking his head and muttering his assent. 

The bathroom turned out to be just as spotless as the downstairs and the towel and clothing that he had been given smelled like they'd been freshly laundered, the scent of lavender lingering on the material. Levi had left quickly after handing off everything, pausing only to tell him to try and be as quiet as possible since people were still sleeping. He felt far better as he washed the cooled sweat off of his body and couldn't find it in himself to continue to be nervous about Levi - if he was a drug dealer, he was the nicest and most thoughtful one he had ever met. 

Eren returned downstairs fully dressed and continuing to rub his hair dry. Levi was sitting on the worn (though clean) couch and pouring tea into two mugs. His hair fell into his face slightly and the way he was angled gave Eren a good view of him and he couldn't help but marvel at the artistry of the tattoos on his arms. 

"Um, hey." Eren's voice was barely above a whisper and Levi's head jerked up in surprise. "Thanks for the shower, and making tea, and letting me stay... you really don't have to." Levi snorted and gave Eren a slight smile, causing his stomach to do a sickly flop. 

"It's fine. Trust me, we have people in and out all the time." 

"Oh?" 

"Yeah, I work as a counselor at the Trost Youth Center. If kids need a place to crash we've got the space. It's nice being in the suburbs too, a bit further but it gets them away from things." 

Suddenly Eren felt absolutely awful; the rough-looking kids hanging around suddenly made a lot more sense. That Levi would disinfect and do a deep cleanse on the apartment after the previous tenants explained all of the chemicals and he could even make a guess that the cold medicine was for the kids as well. He sat down next to Levi awkwardly and noticed an open box on the coffee table post-marked from China. Following Eren's gaze to the box Levi cleared his throat awkwardly. 

"I know I don't look it but I'm actually a huge tea snob." He gestured at the tea pot, delicate white porcelain with rosebuds painted on. "I know it kind of clashes with the image but the ritual of making a good cup of tea will really set your mind at ease." 

"That's really cool." Trying to hide his embarrassment, Eren took a gulp of tea only to scald his mouth, sputtering and coughing as he accidentally inhaled tea. He coughed as Levi thumped him lightly on the back and tried to hold back a smile.  

"You're supposed to sip it and enjoy it, not inhale it." 

"Yeah well, whatever." 

The rest of the morning and afternoon passed quickly as Levi and Eren talked and got to know one another. An hour later Hanji and Moblit woke up and came downstairs and were followed shortly thereafter by the young woman that he had seen crying on the front porch over a month ago. He discovered that Hanji and Moblit worked at a chemistry research lab and that the young woman's name was Isabel and had been staying there for the last two days. Moblit set about making pancakes while Eren talked with Hanji and Levi drove Isabel to an appointment. 

"I can't believe this is the first time we're having a conversation. We moved in before Christmas!" Hanji was looking at him intently. 

"Yeah well... our previous neighbors were actually big time heroin dealers and the police showed up at four in the morning and kicked in the door and someone got shot and I kind of haven't really been able to sleep that well since then." 

"That's awful." Moblit paused and gave him a sympathetic look while Hanji had a much more dramatic response. 

"They  _shot_  someone?" 

"Um, yeah?" 

"I guess that explains why we got this place so cheap then." Moblit slumped over the pancakes and let out a sigh. "Though a guess we can't complain much." 

"So you were avoiding us because you're old neighbors were terrible?" At Eren's nod Hanji continued, "and then we move in and there are all sorts of people hanging around and Levi doesn't exactly look like Humanity's Cuddliest?" 

Eren stayed silent, staring down at his mug and fiddling with the placement, trying to avoid looking at Hanji or Moblit. "I thought you were cooking meth." 

He'd expected outrage from the both of them but instead Hanji burst out into loud laughs and Moblit joined in as well. Hanji was practically convulsing and falling out of their chair and Eren started to feel a little bit better, allowing himself to smile awkwardly. In the end, Hanji did end up falling out of their chair and Moblit had to abandon his pancakes in order to help lift up his fiancé while they continued to laugh. Moblit was forced to throw away the first batch of now burnt pancakes and start over. Hanji had mostly gotten themselves under control and was only occasionally chuckling into their pancakes when Levi came back inside. He barely had a moment to give a puzzled stare at everyone before Hanji was talking. 

"Eren thought we were cooking meth!” The bottom fell out of Eren’s stomach at Hanji’s statement and his head snapped up to meet Levi’s eyes.

“You thought we were cooking _meth?_ ”

“Oh come on, Levi. You with the scary face and the tattoos and the kids are darlings but you’ve got to admit they stick out in a neighborhood like this.”

“I’m really sorry.” Eren looked at Levi apologetically. “I was just telling them that our previous neighbors were part of a heroin ring that got busted.”

“It’s okay.” Levi’s voice was subdued and Eren couldn’t help but feel like Levi was apologizing for something as well.

“Well, Moblit and I have some errands to run so I hate to run out like this but we should get going. You’re fine doing the dishes, yeah?”

Hanji paused as they and Moblit walked past Levi and Eren could swear that he heard them wish Levi good luck. They sat across from each other, quietly eating their pancakes and glancing up at each other every so often. Eren tried to smile but had a feeling it looked more like a grimace; the fact that he had assumed the worst of his neighbors still sticking at his conscience. He helped Levi with the dishes, washing as Levi dried and put them away, occasionally handing a plate back that didn’t meet his standards for cleanliness. Dishes cleared, they sat down on the couch again and started to talk a bit more about themselves.

As they chatted they slowly began to warm up to one another, starting to share more personal things. Mikasa ended up returning Eren’s call an hour later, apologizing for the delay since she hadn’t realized her phone had died. He cut her off before she could get too far into her apology, explaining that he was at their neighbors’ and after an awkward glance at Levi told her that no, they weren’t drug dealers and that Hanji and Moblit were chemists and Levi worked at the Youth Center. After he hung up he turned to Levi sheepishly.

“I’m really _really_ sorry.”

“You didn’t call the cops so it could be worse.”

“I still feel bad.”

“Well, how about you make it up to me?”

“And how the heck do I do that?” Eren watched as Levi ducked his head down to stare at his feet, a slight flush creeping over his face.

“Dinner?” He looked up and met Eren’s eyes, the flush still present on his cheeks but looking more confident. “If we went to dinner I think that would make up for things. And we could talk more…?”

“That’s… yeah! Okay yeah, dinner. When?”

“Tonight or uh, whenever is good for you.” The strangled quality to Levi’s voice caused Eren to smile gently at him.

“I’m kind of busy tonight.” He watched as Levi’s posture went stiff for a moment before falling limp, “but I’m free tomorrow night if that works for you.”

“Yeah, it does.”


End file.
